Huh-huh! Huh-huh(Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)(Aye-aye-aye-aye)
A lady that I know just came from ColombiaShe smiled because I did not understandThen she held out some marijuana, ha haShe said it was the best in all the land
And I said no, no, no, no, I don't smoke it no moreI'm tired of waking up on the floorNo, thank you, please, it only makes me sneezeAnd then it makes it hard to find the door
(Ah-ah-aye-aye)A woman that I know just came from Mallorca, SpainShe smiled because I did not understand (parazzi, parazzi!) (olé!)Then she held out a ten pound bag of cocaineShe said it was the finest in the land
And I saidNo, no, no, no, I don't... it no moreI'm tired of waking up on the floorNo, thank you, please, it only makes me sneezeThen it makes it hard to find the door
(Aye-aye-aye-aye)(Aye-aye-aye-aye)(Aye-aye-aye-aye)(Aye-aye-aye)
A man that I know just came from Nashville, Tennessee 'O (oh no!)He smiled because I did not understandThen he held out some moonshine whiskey, oh hoHe said it was the best in all the land (and he wasn't joking)
And I saidNo, no, no, no, I don't drink it no moreI'm tired of waking up on the floorNo, thank you, please, it only makes me sneezeThen it makes it hard to find the door
Well, I saidNo, no, no, no, I can't take it no moreI'm tired of waking up on the floorNo, thank you, please, it only makes me sneezeAnd then it makes it hard to find the doorHey yehI'll just have another drink, barman, have you got a large brandy?