Elphie, now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project.
You really don't have to do that
I know. That's what makes me so nice!
Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I(And let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than I?)My tender heart tends to start to bleedAnd when someone needs a makeoverI simply have to take overI know I know exactly what they need
And even in your caseThough it's the toughest case I've yet to face,Don't worry, I'm determined to succeedFollow my lead, and yes, indeed, you will be...
Popular!You're gonna be popular!I'll teach you the proper ploysWhen you talk to boysLittle ways to flirt and flounceOooh! I'll show you what shoes to wearHow to fix your hairEverything that really counts to be...
Popular!I'll help you be popular!You'll hang with the right cohortsYou'll be good at sportsKnow the slang you've got to knowSo let's start'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go...
Don't be offended by my frank analysisThink of it as personality dialysisNow that I've chosen to become a pal, sister and adviserThere's nobody wiserNot when it comes to...
PopularI know about popularAnd with an assist from meTo be who you'll beInstead of dreary, who you were... well, areThere's nothing that can stop youFrom becoming popu-ler... lar...
La la, la la!We're gonna make you pop-u-lar...
When I see depressing creaturesWith unprepossessing featuresI remind them on their own behalf to think ofCelebrated heads of stateOr 'specially great communicatorsDid they have brains or knowledge?Don't make me laugh!
They were popular!Please, it's all about popular!It's not about aptitudeIt's the way you're viewedSo it's very shrewd to beVery, very popular like me!
Why, Miss Elphaba, look at you. You're beautiful!
And though you protestYour disinterestI know clandestinelyYou're gonna grin and bear itYour new found popularityOhh!
La la, la la!You'll be popularJust not quite as popular as me!